Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Church of the Swiftly Delivered Mail

by Larry Geller

                        Did he ever return,
                        No he never returned
                        And his fate is still unlearn'd
                        He may ride forever
                        'neath the streets of Boston
                        He's the man who never returned.

("Charlie on the M.T.A.")

I hear that tune in my head now as I check my smartphone app to learn the progress of my wayward US Postal Service package.

I checked just now. Recall that it was shipped on November 2 and was projected to be delivered by November 7, as mentioned in the earlier article.

This time starting from the top, here’s where it has been, with the date it got there:

Nov. 02 Derby CT (shipped)

Nov. 06 Stamford CT

Nov. 08 Wallingford, CT

Nov. 11 Elk Grove Village, IL

Nov. 15 Kearny, NJ (that’s, um, backwards. Hey, Hawaii is over here!!)

Nov. 26 Danbury, CT (yes, back in Connecticut!)

Nov. 27 Jersey City, NJ

And that’s where it is, supposedly, today. And apparently there’s nothing I can do to take possession of my package sooner than the USPS wishes to get it to me.

Maybe the USPS is getting even with me for the blog posts about the delays that many shippers experience when their parcel post packages hit the Richmond California Sort Facility.

Speaking of which, I ordered some stuff from an on-line store located in Richmond, CA. That package was shipped November 26, and the tracking report says that today it’s guess where—in  the Richmond CA Sort Facility (sigh).

Church and State

What am I supposed to do, pray to the gods of the United States Post Office that my package be delivered safely and on time? Is the Richmond, CA Sort Facility one of the lairs of Satan?

Hmmm… maybe I could register the Church of the Swiftly Delivered Mail and take donations as a non-profit. It would probably work better than the donate button up there on the right-hand side of this web page (hint) (hint).


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