Sunday, May 03, 2015


Why is eating a 5lb burrito a thing?

by Larry Geller

What do these two items have in common?



They have in common:

1) Both are edible.

2) Both weigh 5 pounds. If you want to get an idea of how much that burrito weighs and what it might mean to consume it, try hefting a bag of flour (any brand, but we prefer King Arthur).

3) You’d be crazy, IMHO, to eat either in 30 minutes, especially without training as a competitive eater.

4) Neither come with medical insurance policies.

5) Your mother would not be especially proud of you if you ate either of them in 30 minutes, or even in a day…

Wikipedia notes these dangers for competitive eating. If you’re not a competitive eater, what do you think the chances are that you could down five pounds of anything in 30 minutes, anyway? At least you can take it home in a doggy bag. That is, if you ever want to see a burrito again.

Competitive eating

Here’s a Time Magazine article on the subject of competitive eating, one of many that Google can find for you. If you’re not already into competitive eating, the chances of downing that burrito in 30 minutes are slim.

Find an ad for the first item in your paper this morning. Find flour in any supermarket. Pick up a bag off the shelf and learn what five pounds feels like. Experience nausea without actually eating the burrito.

Let’s not even get into contemplating what it means to be able to order up a five pound burrito in this country. Have you contributed to the relief effort in Nepal?


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